Running in memory of Dad, to fight kidney disease that devastated my family
A 24-year-old from Wolverhampton is pushing herself to run the Big Half marathon in London this September, in memory of her dad, who died from chronic kidney disease, at just 52 years old.
Veniece Patel, a 24-year-old assistant producer, is raising funds for kidney research and sharing her family’s story to raise awareness of kidney disease, particularly in South Asian communities, who are disproportionately affected by kidney failure. This is demonstrated in our kidney health inequalities report.
Veniece says: “My dad’s kidney disease, dialysis and passing has severely affected my family. Our lives changed overnight when he was diagnosed in 2017, and it took a physical and emotional toll on all of us. As Dad’s condition worsened, the parent-child role reversed and I became his carer, while studying for my GCSEs.
“Dad’s death in 2019 was devastating. He was suddenly no longer there to see me open my A-Level results that summer - a moment I’d hoped to share, as he always pushed me to work hard towards them. He has missed so many milestones in mine and my mum’s lives over the past six years, from birthdays to new jobs, and he will be missed in every big or small moment we experience for the rest of our lives.
“Running isn’t something I find easy, but I want to challenge myself to the Big Half marathon in memory of my dad, and to make a difference for a cause which is deeply personal to me and my family.”
Losing my dad
Veniece’s dad, Dharmendra, lived with type 2 diabetes for 15 years before he was diagnosed with kidney disease in 2017. In the months before his diagnosis, his health had deteriorated prompting several visits to his GP.
Veniece says: “Dad became increasingly unwell, even struggling to walk because of fluid build up on his legs. Then, terrifyingly, he lost consciousness, due to low blood sugar, and spent a week in hospital. Tests showed his kidney function had fallen to 18%. Unfortunately, his treatment options were limited, as he was deemed too unwell for a transplant. He had multiple fistula surgeries, before starting dialysis.
“Everything was so sudden. Within a month, Dad had gone from managing his diabetes with medication, to being on dialysis multiple times a week. He had to endure long sessions at New Cross Hospital, Wolverhampton every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, often lasting five to six hours each. Eventually, he moved to the Maurice Jackson Renal Unit and dialysis became his new way of life. We’ll be forever grateful to all the staff who supported us – they became like family.”
“Dad was very self-conscious of his illness and how he was perceived by others. He had to give up his job as a hospitality manager and struggled to socialise. He wasn’t able to continue his hobbies, such as badminton and walking, and felt extremely isolated. We’re thankful to the close friends we have, and his fellow dialysis patients who helped him pass the time during treatment.
“Sadly, Dad’s condition continued to worsen, and he endured incredible hardship, including a broken hip and a leg amputation. This was caused by a fall after a dialysis session from which a cut became infected. The wound did not heal and led to sepsis. Then, in June 2019, he passed away. We were devastated.”
Stigma in South Asian communities
One of Veniece’s motivations for sharing her family’s story is to raise awareness within South Asian communities about kidney disease, given that kidney failure is up to five times more common in people from minority ethnic groups.
Veniece says: “I see negative connotations and stigma in South Asian communities associated with having an illness like kidney disease. There is a sense of shame in some cultures and a fear of judgement. People don’t want to be seen as being unable to manage their health, as it implies some kind of personal failure. This means they are reluctant to seek the help and support they need.
“As a family, we have felt judgement from others. Health issues are taboo and it’s organisations like Kidney Research UK who have helped us better understand Dad’s condition. I hope that by being vulnerable and sharing our story, I can raise awareness and influence others to seek help for their own health concerns. Nobody should be made to feel ashamed for being unwell. It could happen to any of us.”
Running for research
Her experiences have led Veniece to run the Big Half marathon on Sunday 7 September in London, raising funds to support research into kidney disease.
Veniece says: “I am dedicating this run to Dad, and for every family navigating the uncertainty and heartache that kidney disease brings. I see you, I hear you.
“Every step I take is for the ones we’ve lost and the ones who are still fighting. I am going to raise as much as I can to fund life-saving research.”
Support Veniece’s fundraising: Kidney Research UK: Veniece's page
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